Synonyms & Scotch

Newton’s Dilemma

She flies into bed with me
and says, “Sorry, I must kill you tonight
but your dying will be like flying.”
She takes out a comb, “it’s okay,” I say,
“I part it on the left.” Tears run seams
in her face. “No,” she insists,
“feathers part in the middle.”
“Try to think like a butterfly,
symmetrically. After, I will
slip you in the thickest book,
flatten your dark edges.”
She switches open my razor,
singing the aria I wrote on birds,
and starts removing me hair by hair.
I forget the song of yellow
warblers, redstarts, only the black
grackles caw; the aria crescendos.
By dawn, she’s taken a lot out of me
but stops at my chest. “This is so hard,”
she cries, pecking at my heart.
“It weighs so much.” The aria
has only one sharp note; like
the awkward way magpies walk.
“I’m too tired,” she says, “I would stay
at this, but your fingers are so cold
and my stomach just growled.”
“It’s okay,” I say, “you’ve done so much,
I couldn’t ask more of you.”
She nods, wipes her eyes.
The aria’s left unfinished.
A murder of crows waits out of reach.
She leaves me the razor,
an apple on the pillow,
her light apology for leaving me
in the middle of such weight.
I don’t blame her for flying off,
after all, if I can make love
weigh so much, imagine
what I do to birds.

- m.r. kidd

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